...Passing on by

Another day has passed in State College Town, something that seems to happen with increasing frequency.

Today was Big Brother day at our chapter, the cliched fraternity ritual of revealing to the pledges who their big brother's will be for the semester and getting them absolutely loaded. Our chapter has calmed this habit the past few semesters, switching from the big brother providing a "Family Liquor" to his little to beer. This was done to prevent any more tragic drinking deaths, which tend to occur more often from the consumption of liquor, and less frequently from beer.

Now, as Pledge Educator, I am unable to take a little. I don't frequently get one because I am not a great man flirt, or rusher, so I usually stand in the back during this event and try not to nod off. But because I have gotten to know the new guys, last night's event struck a cord with me. I recalled my big brother night, and how scared we were locked in a room and made to listen to some awful music on repeat for hours on end. I remembered nervously fumbling through the information I had been forced to remember and recite with my pledge brothers. And I remembered the awesome elation as I stood before the chapter, said my name, announced my intention to pledge, and was greeted by my grinning big brother welcoming me to the chapter.

But last night, I felt the tight grip of time on my innards as the process was renewed. I recalled that awesome excitement I felt even as I was unsure of what lay ahead of me as I joined the Greek world. Today, I find myself in a similar predicament with college winding down, unsure of what is to come. But I do not feel the same elation, the same excitement. Instead it is dread and fear. I will be forced to leave the comfy confines of college and trudge out into the world, once again forced to make my mark and find my niche.

As I lay in bed last night, I reminisced about my college career. I thought about how my life would be different if I didn't join the fraternity. I thought about the friends I've made and the people I've met, and I thought about the people I fell out of touch with after joining.

Eventually, I just smiled and rolled over. The beauty about life is that it is unscripted, it is unknown. People get upset with you when you tell them the end of the movie because it devalues the enjoyment, and that is synonymous with life. I am scarred shitless, there is no question, but when I lie awake at night in 5 years staring at the ceiling, I am sure I will come to a similar conclusion as the one I did last night.

"And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back."

-From The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost